• Take turns and talk one at a time, with no interruptions
  • Use common courtesy—no name calling, etc
  • Use a time-out sign when you want to remind each other of the rules
  • Express clearly the problem as you see it, how you feel, and what you would like to have done to change the situation
  • Discuss one issue at a time without being defensive
  • Make sure you agree on what the problem is
  • Listen carefully to what the other person is saying, thinking and feeling about the problem
  • List different solutions and steps for resolving the problem. Write them down, and don’t discard any ideas
  • Discuss the good points of each solution. What are the drawbacks?
  • Choose a plan you are both comfortable with
  • Decide how you will carry out the plan. What are the steps? Who will do what, when?
  • Decide a time to discuss progress and/or other problems
  • Recognize what you have both accomplished in working out the problem